The Pit...part 3

So I said I would share another experience that keeps it real for me in nursing. This one is a little tougher and a little more personal. When Jackson was born, he was rushed to the NICU because the little booger didn't want to breathe. He was never intubated, but did require oxygen for a couple of days. He had a UAC and UVC (for you non-medical folks that's code for lines through the umbilicus...where the cord was cut after birth).




The lines are out in this picture. But because of the lines, I couldn't pick him up and hold him. And because of his rapid breathing and oxygen requirements, we couldn't feed him. Your feelings after giving birth are overwhelming in the best of circumstances. When you throw in these poor circumstances, I was on the verge of breakdown at any moment. Yet, I had to be strong. There were times that I was at the hospital by myself due to Colby was in his last few weeks of nursing school. He kept trying to skip class, but it had been a long 2.5 years and the end was weeks away. I didn't want him to jeopardize his studies. During some of these times that I was by myself, I felt very alone. Life was going on for everyone around me. I didn't begrudge anyone for getting on with life, but it sucked to be stuck in limbo knowing in my heart that God would take care of me and my baby. But feeling in my head a fear that I have never experienced before in my life. And hope I never do again. Pure helplessness. Total dependence on God and on strangers to take care of my precious baby. It was 3 whole days before I would hold him.





Longest 3 days of my life. He was in the hospital for 5 days and as you've seen from the previous pictures has more than made up for his 3 days without food!



Most stressful time in my life by far. Thanks the Lord I had good nurses all the way around. Oh, yeah....except the one that discharged me from the hospital. I was well enough to go, but Jackson was still in NICU. She was going over instructions with me when I became very overwhelmed and started crying. This would have been the perfect opportunity for her to practice therapeutic communication that they drill into us in nursing school. She obviously missed that day because what she said was, "call me when your ride gets here and we can finish these instructions". Then she left....no pat on the back, no "it will be alright", no offer of drugs :), nothing.

That really reminds me to always keep in mind the parents stressors, anxiety level, other responsibilities, etc. I used to be judgemental about parents who wouldn't stay with their sick child in the hospital. But now I understand first hand that you may have to leave due to other responsibilities. I'm so thankful my ordeal lasted only 5 days. There are others that experience months and months of not being able to hold their babies. Some don't get to ever bring their babies home. I consider myself blessed to have a happy, healthy baby. I thank God for giving me the strength I needed to endure those long hours of waiting for my baby to breathe well without oxygen. And I thank God for my friends and family that kept us covered in prayer. (and that kept bringing me coke icees!)

Lord, thank you for the gentle reminders to treat others how I want to be treated. Although I don't want to experience pain and hardship, I recognize that it is sometimes necessary to get my attention. Thank you for literally carrying me through this ordeal. May I use my experience to help others make it through their own tough times.